There is an old German proverb…
All skill is in vain when an angel pees down the touch-hole of your musket.
It is said to have been modified and used on the battlefields of the American Civil War in the form of “don’t let an angel pee down your touch-hole”. Now, to be clear on the meaning here, the touch-hole in a muzzle-loading musket is the vent hole through which the spark ignites the charge packed into the gun. And you can be the best marksman with a muzzle-loading musket in the world, but if your target’s angel pees in your touch-hole, you better just praise God and pass the ammunition on to someone else – because you’re out of the fight.
In my personal opinion, what we have seen happen in the past few days and culminating yesterday with Judge Strickland’s resignation as presiding Judge over the Caylee Marie Anthony murder trial, has been some type of God-sent mystery – we’ve watched SOMEONE’S angel pee in SOMEONE’S touch-hole. And it is my personal opinion that someone’s angel was Judge Strickland’s…and that SOMEONE’s touch-hole was Cheney Mason’s and Casey Anthony’s.
But wait, you say, Cheney’s not out of the fight? Judge Strickland is. Yep – that’s why I think it was his angel. I think we just witnessed the Big Guy doing two things:
* Answering a prayer that someone is going to regret they submitted (i.e. the defense thinking this would benefit them).
* Making sure Judge Strickland has been removed from the massive ejecta radius of the killer volcano known as Casey Anthony’s life.
In the movie Armageddon there’s this great opening scene where the astronomer, Karl, who has discovered the massive asteroid that is headed straight for Earth is on the phone with the NASA dude Dan Truman (played by Billy Bob Thornton). Karl has just reported his finding and his calculations – the world is fixing to get the life-obliterating crap smacked out of it. The following exchange takes place about the naming of the planet-killing asteroid:
Karl: …The person that finds her gets to name her right?
Dan: Yes-yes that’s right, that’s right.
Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She’s a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
So the ever-growing kill-radius around Casey Anthony just keeps growing. There’s not a single person who can escape her life-sucking reach. Uttering her name is like speaking the Black Speech of Mordor in the Shire – your ring starts acting up and your world changes. And such has happened to Judge Strickland.
But I don’t think this time that the negative outcome came to the forces that oppose evil. I think Judge Strickland’s angels are more powerful than Cheney’s (and I don’t think Casey even has any, so that’s not even an option here). And they saw more than even the honorable Judge could see – and hence took a mighty big tinkle to protect their charge. Why do I think this? Well, let’s just look at a couple of judges who have presided over high-profile, televised trials and see how they faired.
Judge Ito – holy mother of pete, remember him? He got his touch-hole peed in when he was picked to preside over the O.J. Simpson trial. Whether you agree with the publicity he garnered in that trial or not – I think you can agree…it wasn’t favorable. (Dancing Judge Ito sketches on Jay Leno is NOT a professional review you want to cite on your CV.)
Judge Seidlin – holy moly sapphire – remember this guy? “the crying judge”? The big tinkle happened to him when he got the Anna Nicole Smith “I gotta a dead body who wants it?” trial thrown in his lap. Known best for being accused of using the televised trial as a chance to audition for a “Judge Judy” type gig, he didn’t fair well.
Now, you might say -wait a minute…those two wankers aren’t the same as Judge Strickland. Judge Strickland has not played to the cameras, he has not let his court turn into a three-ring circus. Judge Strickland was the PERFECT judge to keep this under control. Well, I’d say you are basing that statement off two things:
1. An assumption that Judge Ito and Judge Seidlin weren’t good judges BEFORE their touch-holes got damp, and
2. That the negativity (be it deserved or undeserved) that rained down on them because of these trials wouldn’t also land squarely on Judge Strickland once the trial started.
The problem here isn’t just the quirks and styles of the judges, it’s that when you have a ginormous media event such as will be the case in the trial of Casey Anthony, you have pundits – those talking heads who have to shock and awe by either being vicious, or negative…picking at minutia in order to have a reason to flap their lips on Nancy Grace, Court TV, etc. They have to say something each evening and it needs to be a memorable sound bite so they get invited back the next evening. And I promise you – they’d have something memorable to say about Judge Strickland before it was over. He didn’t do this – he allowed that. For Pete’s sake…we’ve already started seeing it! He has already started to have criticism such as not reigning in the defense, forgetting what his prior orders had been, etc. There is no winning in this position because there are too many “experts” who HAVE to have something to say in order to get their paychecks for 5 minutes of pundit time.
My point is…I’m glad I don’t get to see the pundits bring a fine man like Judge Strickland to that list up there. So…Judge Strickland’s angel just peed in someone’s touch hole and removed this honorable Judge before he got too much of the Casey Anthony life-sucking ejecta on him. He was able to gracefully (and articulately!) exit stage right and will continue to be viewed as a fair and ethical judge. I am sure Judge Strickland will go on to loftier things in the judicial system. And I’m glad of that.
So the touch-hole that got peed in belongs to Cheney Mason, and by association and representation…Casey Anthony. Yep – old Colonel Sanders-imma-big-gun “this is gonna be fun” Mason. Him and his flunky Baez and their little PI dude. They read the coverage, they found a weak spot, they found the weak link, yanked the chain a bit and think they pulled one off. Well, good job Mason and company. Because no matter who the judge is who gets to be added to the list above (and it will happen – we’ll get to add a new name on a list no judge in their right mind wants to be on), you’ve still got a babbling buffoon of a partner in this mess and a client who not only can’t be extracted from the nine-line-bind she’s put herself in, but she has a whole family working to make sure she stays hog-tied until the guilty verdict comes in.
So while Cheney’s devious little tactics may make him feel like he’s one-upped somebody, all he’s done is inserted a great big wild card in his future with a judge who may rule like Attila the Hun instead Solomon, and will possibly make his “mission impossible” more impossible. And to those who are upset that this may cause a delay – just remember this…
Casey’s sitting in jail…on what is her 19th month now, with a very damp touch-hole…and the only camp that keeps pissin’ on her is her very own.
Karma is truly a bitch.
Valhall.
Related posts:
- Judge Stan Strickland’s Background
- Caylee Marie Anthony case: NeJame says…bad faith, bad bad faith! And smacks defense’s nose with a newspaper.
- Caylee Anthony case: Conway will no longer represent Anthonys
- Ongoing Investigation or Protection of new Witness?
- Joy Wray’s Rap Sheet
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